What I Thought

I thought my voice would be one of cheer.  One of happiness and joy and merriment.

Now that I'm finding my voice, I find that it's one of difficulty.  Of searching.  Of asking the hard questions and expressing the hard thoughts and not knowing if there are answers.

There is trust, though.  An unexplained trust.  And there is peace.  Even today when I feel overwhelmed, insufficient, and eternally fat, there is peace underneath it all.

Because even when I am overwhelmed, insufficient, and fat, God loves me.  He isn't waiting until I get my act together.  He isn't disappointed or surprised by my mistakes and my humanity.  He loves me.  He loves me and desires and maintains relationship me even at great cost.

And so there is peace.