Soothes my soul

Some things just do.

As I try to move from having food as my primary comfort, I reach for other things. Music emerges.  Knitting projects get done.  Words get written.

Today, these words and this music soothed my soul.  My soul is heavy with loss and aloneness.  These words and this music made me feel not so alone.


"Ghosts That We Knew"

You saw my pain, washed out in the rain
Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
But you saw no fault no cracks in my heart
And you knelt beside my hope torn apart
But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
And we'll live a long life
So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
Cause oh they gave me such a fright
But I will hold as long as you like
Just promise me we'll be alright

So lead me back
Turn south from that place
And close my eyes to my recent disgrace
Cause you know my call
And we'll share my all
And our children come, they will hear me roar
So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
Cause oh they gave me such a fright
But I will hold as long as you like
Just promise me that we'll be alright

But hold me still bury my heart on the cold
And hold me still bury my heart next to yours

So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
Cause oh they gave me such a fright
And I will hold on with all of my might
Just promise me that we'll be alright

But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
And we'll live a long life



  "Lover Of The Light"

And in the middle of the night
I may watch you go
There'll be no value in the strength
Of walls that I have grown
There'll be no comfort in the shade
Of the shadows thrown
But I'd be yours if you'd be mine

Stretch out my life
And pick the seams out
Take what you like
But close my ears and eyes
Watch me stumble over and over

I had done wrong
You build your tower
But call me home
And I will build a throne
And wash my eyes out never again

But love the one you hold
And I'll be your goal
To have and to hold
A lover of the light

With skin too tight
And eyes like marbles
You spin me high
So watch me as I glide
Before I tumble homeward, homeward

I know I tried
I was not stable
And flawed by pride
I miss my sanguine eyes
So hold my hands up — breathe in and breathe out

So love the one you hold
And I'll be your goal
To have and to hold
A lover of the light

And in the middle of the night
I may watch you go
There'll be no value in the strength
Of walls that I have grown
There'll be no comfort in the shade
Of the shadows thrown
You may not trust the promises
Of the change I'll show
But I'd be yours if you'd be mine

So love the one you hold
And I'll be your goal
To have and to hold
A lover of the light

So love the one you hold
And I will be your goal
To have and to hold
A lover of the light


Someone please promise to play Mumford and Sons at my funeral. And please promise to get up and dance to celebrate the release of my soul.