Thursday, June 28, 2007

Anyone else?

Disclaimer: I'm well aware of the fact that most of my readers are women. If you are a man, you might want to skip this post. Consider yourself warned.

Today I ran into Walgreen's before coming to work. I picked up a couple of needed items and headed to the checkout stand. When I looked down and saw the sum total of my purchases, I wanted to laugh. Any other day I would've laughed. Today all I could manage was a grimace. Here is a list of my purchases:

  • Midol (at least the Walgreen's equivalent)
  • A box of tampons
  • Three bags of chocolate
This wasn't the first time I've left a store with this assortment of items. There's usually a coke thrown in, but Walgreen's was out of cold ones. I've even opened the Midol and taken it right in front of the cashier before . I don't know how I lived before I found Midol.

Oh how far I've come from that fourteen-year-old girl who could barely manage to walk down the aisle of feminine hygiene products. These days, I figure it's in everyone's best interest to know that this is *the day* that I might just bite your head off. It's not that I'm grouchy. I just don't want anyone to look at me, talk to me, or touch me.

That's not too much to ask, is it?

So what about you? Anyone else ever purchased a similar combination of products? Made a run to the store specifically for Midol or chocolate? Oh -- and in case you haven't read it, check out what Beth Moore has to say about PMS:

Since some of you Sistas brought up the subject of PMS (after all, we are sistas and if sistas have anything at all, it's hormones), I feel compelled to tell you what I told a group recently. If you want to live those fretful days of evil principalities with any measure of victory, if, when the day of evil comes, you indeed want to stand, you have to get in your head that PMS means Please More Spirit! Need a reference? OK, how about John 3:34 - "for God gives the Spirit without limit"? (It's a good thing.) Need another? Luke 11:13 - "how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?"

You know how furious we get when one of our loved ones makes the merest suggestion that maybe we're a little hormonal? Like those times when waking up to an open bag of Fritos on the coffee table and a water ring left from a sweating glass of soda seem perfectly legitimate grounds for divorce? If, while we're denying the remotest chance we could have PMS, we start looking for the nearest thing we could throw at them, we might want to see these words flashing in red florescent lights across the marque of our minds: Please More Spirit! Please More Spirit!

This morning Keith drew my attention to a darling 12 year old girl at church with that look on her face and said, "I hope her parents are really keeping an eye on her. She really seems sullen." "Honey," I said, "All 12 year old girls are sullen. They are a hormone waiting to wreak havoc." How could he have forgotten? Between his three women - Amanda, Melissa, and me - his skin was in jeopardy the greater part of any given month. But don't think he wasn't the kind to invite trouble. He'd say stuff like, "I'm so sorry, Baby. That zit really looks like it hurts." Where's me a lamp?? Good thing we have God. That's all I'm saying. And good thing for THEM we have God. Next time around, remember two very important things:

1. Pray "Please More Spirit!"

2. Take Your Midol.

1 comment:

Brandy said...

another needed laugh! yeah, i ran into the store one time with a very similar purchase....reeses are my pms food. :)