Saturday, January 30, 2010

Tidbits

1. The final season of LOST starts in three days. I've been enthralled by some seasons and wearied by others, but I'm looking forward to seeing how all the mysteries of The Island resolve themselves. I would love for Charlie to come back for this season.

2. We had a real, honest-to-goodness snow in Searcy. I spent most of yesterday peeking outside to watch it come down throughout the day. It isn't often that we get enough to justify the ritual grocery runs and school closings, but this time we did. I love snow. I don't like the mushy mess of its melting, but I do love the beauty of snow on the ground and on rooftops.

After I took these pictures, it continued to snow for several more hours. Big chunks of snow that would explode on impact with the van and then slide down to the ground. This morning, it's the oddest thing: the ground is covered but the limbs and branches of trees are still bare.

Funny snow. Beautiful snow.

3. We filed our income tax return yesterday. Before you start thinking that we are uber-patriotic and eager to give the government its share of our income, please realize that we get money back every year. Filing is our friend. It allows us to do things like clothes shopping and replacing worn out computers. This creates a rather odd dynamic of hearing my children say, "I love tax time," when the rest of the country dreads its existence.

4. I'm almost afraid to say this one out loud. (Does writing in a blog count as saying things out loud?) Anyway, I think I'm on the tail end of the funk I've been in lately. It started with Caleb's Type 1 diagnosis in August and simmered for a while. Over the Christmas break it really came to a head. Thanks to some wonderful listening friends, I think I'm ready to move forward. See, the problem is that when I feel overwhelmed, I reach for food like others might reach for credit cards, lottery tickets, or alcohol. Food is my drug. Maybe I don't become a violent drunk or spend my family's income on unneeded purchases, but I do gain weight every time I go through a season of stress.

The good news is that I can still wear all of my clothes. The bad news is that I can't wear them well and if I don't change my current patterns, I won't be able to wear them for long. So, my friends, please pray for me over the next weeks. Pray that I will be wise in seeking God's peace as I move past cluttering my brain with worry. The NPR broadcast I shared a few days ago made complete sense to me. My brain has been full. It's time to let God have some of that.

I chose this picture for two reasons. First, it's beautiful. I love connecting with God through nature, though being outside is not a big part of my life these days. I'd like to change that. Second, I love that the two paths have clearly different destinations. The shorter one leads to the woods where it is dense and complex. The longer road leads to an open area with a much longer journey. Both are beautiful.

Life is like that. I love my life. Even with its problems, it is full of wonderful people and breathtaking opportunities. If my path doesn't change, there will still be beauty, although it will be more complex because of self-added complications and my journey might be shorter if I don't take better care of my health. The new road I'd like to find will hopefully be clearer, equally beautiful, but with a longer journey that's not quite as difficult.

2 comments:

Mom of these kids said...

1. I had watched Lost until last Season...reason for quiting, Clay worked nights and I was home alone with 5 kids, one being very high maintenance, and no DVR. Now that the kids are in school with an early bedtime, Clay is home, and the babies are in bed by 7, I plan on enjoying this last season, and am also excited about it.

2. The snow is beautiful. Love it.

3. I also love tax season. Even more so this year, as it has been our poorest year income wise, but a nice big generous return, so we also couldn't wait to file. I plan on getting some new glasses, and maybe even a professional haircut!

4. I am sorry you have had a tough time. I will pray for you to give your worries to God. I understand that...I do the same thing, and I also turn to food.

Sugar-n-Spice said...

me, too... me, too! LOVE tax season. we just celebrated that the last little item we were waiting on to file came in the mail. woo-hoo!!!

and... me, too.. me, too on the funk as of late. i've only slightly hinted on the blog but sheesh my veins have been pumping with mood swings, irritability (mega), weepy-ness, and , well... that cloudy haze that things just get blurred in. i do the opposite... lose weight because of nausea/no appetite.. but despite what you're sure to be thinking right at this moment i promise it's as much of a self -hate issue as yours. and the point of my rambling is i love what you said about being full, and time to let God have some of that. i'm ready to let go, too. much love to you on your journey (whichever path you end up on).