Be careful what you wish for

I know the saying. I know what the saying means and I've lived that truth several times in my life. 

Still, I wish. 

I wish I could have a year -- no, just a month -- where I didn't feel the need to juggle being mom, daughter, friend, church member, employee, sister, and responsible human being in the midst of it all. 

In fact, I would probably settle for a week or a day of that. 

I wish being an adult didn't mean being the decision maker for so many things that impact so many others. 

I wish that other people's words and thoughts didn't matter to me. That I didn't care as much. That I didn't want to do a good job. 

Somedays, I wish I could be ok with being the person who just shows up. Punches a clock. Warms a seat. 

But that's not me. It matters to me. People matter to me. Doing a good job and being responsible both matter to me.

I mess up. Make mistakes. Don't always communicate well. Misunderstand. Assume. All those other things we humans do. I don't like it, but I do. 

Because that's life. It isn't always easy -- in fact, it rarely is -- but it's life.