Monday, August 03, 2009

Trusting God

Have you experienced the God-Can't-be-Trusted Narrative? What shapes that narrative? How did it arise? What does it look like?

Well. I suppose I should start by just putting it out there:

I have trust issues.

I am a questioner and I have trust issues. When I was younger I was full of why? and sometimes -- no, quite often -- why me? questions. I've lived long enough now that I don't really question why things have to happen. There are a variety of reasons, including God's will, my own actions, other people's decisions, and the fact that the world is full of sin. I've also lived long enough to know that sometimes really wonderful things can grow out of very difficult things but that not everything gets "righted" in this world. Some things will only be set right when Jesus comes back.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

My trust issues really aren't with God anymore. I know that he loves me inside and out. My times of prayer are the most honest parts of my day because I know that I can pour my heart, mind, and soul out to the Lord and no matter how ugly it is, he will still love me and accept me as his child. And trust me -- there's some not-so-pretty stuff in there.

My trust issues are with people. My head knows that trusting people with my vulnerabilities is really just an extension of trusting God, but God has never failed me and people have. I love people. I love that we are able to know each other, live in relationship, challenge one another . . . I just don't like the hurt that can come along in the process. It isn't that I don't trust God to be in those situations, but that I don't always trust people to be in connection with God. I've lived too long to think that's going to happen.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

What does the Lord's Prayer tell me about God as Father?
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
This kind of God-Father is trustworthy. How can this narrative help us?

God is a trustworthy father. He provides for our needs; he forgives us; he delivers us from evil. Please pray that I will be able to trust God enough to trust his children more.


godsown said...

So recognizable Lisa.....!!
The more i Trust Him and bask in His Love the more I change and learn how to trust others and forgive them when they fail....Because He forgive me ALOT also over and over again!!

He learns me to give trust out of Love.... without expecting anything back.

Have a great week my friend!
I love your posts lately they make me think things deeper...


Sheila said...

Forgiveness is such an important part of this, isn't it? No person is completely trustworthy, even when they want to be, because we are all subject to forces outside our control.

I will pray for you about this.

Rachelle said...

Wonderful post, Lisa!! Oh that we might all trust the loving heart of our heavenly Father more!!

Lara said...

Do your trust issues make it hard for you to be a passenger in a van on a road trip with your family? Mine do.

Seriously though, thank you for sharing your journey with us, Lisa. It helps to know I'm not alone. God's best act of faithfulness: great female friends.

shirley said...

You have articulated so well what I sometimes feel. Lead on.

godsown said...

Hi Lisa my thoughts went today to you and prayers go up...prayed this psalm over you and your family Psalm 62:8 (New International Version)

8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.