Back to Work

Today was the day. School started again and I'm back at work after a two-week break. Although it will be good to get back into a routine, it is always bittersweet to once again have to divide my time between two full time jobs.

It's also time to get back to work on the ever-present New Year's . . . goals? resolutions? confessions? In setting a goal are we not in essence admitting to an area of deficiency? I know that my goals always have to do with an area in which I need improvement. Exercise regularly. Eat less. Read more. Daily Bible study. Love more fully. Forgive more quickly.

2008 was both wonderful and terrible. Part of me wanted the year to end as quickly as possible while another part wanted to stay there and soak it up. It's unlikely that I will have another year that includes being a bridesmaid for a lifelong friend, a completed degree, trips to Europe with my sister and California with friends, and helping bring a baby into the world. I would do any one of those again in about two seconds. Other events I hope to never repeat. The contrast has been mind-boggling and difficult to manage.

But now I have a brand new 2009 sitting in front of me. Do I get to make it what I would like it to be? If so, then I choose all of those things above: exercise regularly, eat less, read more, daily Bible study, love more fully and forgive more quickly. Will it be shaped more by others? I don't know what choices others will make. What demands will they put on my time and how will those demands limit me? Or are the events of our lives scripted by someone with a lot more power over the seconds and minutes of the days? Someone who isn't even limited by them? What is the balance between our goals, others' needs, and God's sovereignty?

No matter what the balance is, there are two things I can keep in front of me: loving more fully and forgiving more quickly. With those two concepts as a framework for this year, I will meet each day and the challenges it brings and try to choose better, healthier, more peaceful and balanced activities that will keep me in line with my true first love, Jesus of Nazareth.

If my year is about him, then it's all good.