Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Different kinds of mothers

I read a great quote one time. "There are kissing mothers and there are yelling mothers, but they really all mean the same thing." I don't remember who said it, but I remember thinking that it was quite true.

Confession: I am not the kind of mom who writes about her children much. I wish I did! I read my friends' blogs and I love how much they write about what they do with their children. I kind of thought I would do that too, but for some reason the inspiration isn't there. Sigh. How embarrassing is that? My childhood ambition was to be a mom!

So, let's see . . . so far we have kissing mothers, yelling mothers, and blogging mothers. Sometimes I look around me and I see another kind -- SUPER mothers. You all know at least one. She has at least six children, all of whom are snappily dressed at all times. They never raise their voice in the house and by the time they're 16 they've homeschooled their way through college and have earned enough money to buy their future spouses a house. Oh. And they wear denim. A lot of denim.

I wanted to be a supermom. I really, really wanted to be a supermom. Some of my best friends were supermoms. I wore the denim. I had five children (not six) and even had four of them at home. With no drugs. For 13 years I was either pregnant or nursing (or both) and I homeschooled. I tried so hard to be supermom but just couldn't quite get there.

Then, I had an epiphany. I was watching a movie that will forever stay at the top of my list of inspiring movies. It was packed with truth about human nature and working together. It spoke to the very soul of family relationships and how crucial it is for each person to fill their God-given role. It forced me to deal with my desire to do it all on my own. It encouraged me to step down from being Supermom and just be mom.

The movie? The Incredibles. Laugh if you want to, but there's a lot of truth packed into that gem from Pixar. The part that hit me the hardest was when Edna Mode made the point that superheroes with capes always died. The cape would somehow get in the way and bring them to an untimely demise.

I decided then and there to take off my cape. I would no longer try to be all things to all people. I would get up every day, do what needed to be done, and -- praise GOD! -- let him handle the rest.

Today, people frequently say to me, "I don't know how you do it. You have a big family, you work, and you're in grad school. I could never do all that." My answer? "I'm a mom. There may be different kinds of mom, but really, we all do the same thing. We get up every day and do what needs to be done for our families. We may be doing different things, but really? We're all doing the same thing."

6 comments:

Brandy said...

i did laugh....and teared up. stabbed right in the heart this morning! (in a good way)

Denise W said...

Yeah, I remember the denim. I could see you trying to be Supermom - I like you being the mom God made you to be!

Love this post. Love you.

And, hey, where are the stories about your family??!! Inquiring minds want some info!

Licia said...

Great post, Lisa. Maybe someday I'll be a super mom (as opposed to Supermom with the cape) like you. :-)

Lisa B said...

Hey Lisa (great name!),

I found you on the Ultimate Blog Party link list and just had to comment on this post. I LOVE it! I shared part of your post on my blog (please let me know if that's not ok!!) -- and I love your reference to the Incredibles :) That's one of my favorite movies!!

Nice to virtually meet you!

Lisa B.
simplyHis.org

Gioietta said...

Thank you for this post. I have felt the same like you. Trying to be someone we are not, because we think they are 'the only right kind'. I used to think that God would only bless me with a child if I'd be that supermom...all natural, clothe fed and made everything from scratch, tilled a garden, had as many kids she could all natural, homeschool, etc. etc. Now, I just started my journey of motherhood on earth, and I am so thankful. But I realize that like you said, there are different mothers but we all do the same thing: we take care of our families. It might not look the same, but the same kind of love is going on. I believe that because my mom was and is my SUPER mom, but she worked outside the home, she didn't do much from scratch, and she loved to read and learn and passed that on, among other wonderful values and gifts I have thanks to her. Thanks again. I often feel 'little' or not enough, compare myself too much. I dont want and just enjoy being who God made me.
Love, Miriam

Gioietta said...

I was going to say that I have a 9 month old and I don't hardly ever post about him or put a picture~ I sometimes worry that others think I am not a good mom since I don't always write about him than I stop and think: how stupid is that? part of it is because of what I have been through and what I have learned, but then again, that is who I am!